listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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