I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
