Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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