Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
