South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
They have beer where we have blood.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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