it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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