Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
