Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
they're like a gay fantastic four
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
