she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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