i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
