I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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