What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
