My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
wow bdsm is so cute
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
