Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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