I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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