If that was your dad, he is hot
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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