That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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