I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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