You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
