Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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