Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
