it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize