i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
