After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
