I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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