plz talk dirty to me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
