Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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