You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
