Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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