I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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