I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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