Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
