I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
