how can u be prego again
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
