Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
bring money and cleavage
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
