Me too!
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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