whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
