We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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