did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
