Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
