So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
