Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
