from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
True strength comes from lack of pants
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
