You smell like stripper and shame
My pussy is not your playground.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
