i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
