Im at strip club and am horny
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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