remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
