he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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