Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
