Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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