someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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