new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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