No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
