I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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