Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
