I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
