I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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