My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My ATM looks so different sober.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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