If i come over, it means nothing
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
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