Sponge bath it is.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
