Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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