I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
